I got the results of my ultrasound last Friday. "No acute changes." So my liver isn't crawling with tumors, cirrhotic, . At least not visible ones. Next week I see the gastro doc.

Lately I've been noticing the "If Hep C was attacking your face..." ads (http://www.hepcfight.com/). The link points to a Roche Laboratories site pushing Interferon. I love free enterprise. The site is typical of Big Pharma -- lots of recommendations to talk to your doc, oh, and don't forget to ask about our product. Obviously they think they have a pretty promising market. Looks like I may be helping to pay for those half- and full-page color ads in major market newspapers and magazines. Fortunately, I'm insured.

I started the week off with an ultrasound on Monday morning. Other than that, there's little to report. The results aren't back yet (it's Friday night/Saturday morning) so I go through the weekend with the same question mark hanging over my head that has been there for the past month. I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist in three weeks. Earliest I could get in. When the doctor's office called today I asked whether they'd be able to move my appointment up if there was a problem in the tests. They said yes, they'd do that.

The ultrasound was in a medical building that is less than a mile from my house. I walked to it and ran back. I feel fine. I'm a little tired, but I operate on five or six hours of sleep a night and abuse caffeine. That's to be expected. My wife has been saying I look tired for the past, oh, five years or so. She says it more often now. Nothing new. I have deep-set eyes and have always looked like I have circles under my eyes, even after nine hours of sleep.

What's driving me really crazy is the wondering what is a symptom. I'm aware of my abdomen. It rumbles. Is that my liver? I fart. Is that a symptom? I don't have any pain, but I'm uncomfortably aware of my right side. I've had a heat rash on my chest and a spot in the inside of my elbow since June or July. Heat rash isn't unusual -- I live in a hot place. But such things usually go away for me fairly quickly. This has been here for two months. Does that have something to do with this? I look at the color of my shit. It is brown. If it becomes light-colored, that's a bad sign.

This is how hypochondriacs are made.

I went to the natural food store the other day and bought a bottle of something called silymarin and started taking it. It's an extract of a plant called milk thistle. From what I've read it can't hurt. My wife didn't like the idea -- she wants me to wait until I see the doc -- doesn't want it to change any test results. I sort of thought that was the idea. Guess I could drink a couple of beers before my next test... Hey, if my liver is being damaged, and the test results reflect it, I'd just as soon take the pill. So I'm sneaking it. I'm such a rebel.

It's a clear gelatin capsule with what looks like ground weeds inside. It has a strange mustardy taste. Is it having an effect? Who knows? Except for the taste, it could be alfalfa for all I know. I feel vaguely light-headed after I take it. But, again I'm not sure. Everything's a symptom or a side-effect.

I'm going to be a wreck if I start really feeling something. Nevermind. I suspect that the appropriate word is when not if. And when that time comes, I will long for the days that I could walk a mile.

I have to beat this thing.

First Post -- What This Is All About

The fastest way to get me out of a room is to start talking about ailments and illness. That's why I launch this blog with some trepidation. It's all about my ailments and illness. Of course that's a much more interesting topic than somebody else's ailments. Bear with me. Read on or not as you choose. You've been warned.

Some ten years ago I donated blood at an office blood drive. A few weeks later I got a letter back from the blood bank. It said (in effect), "Thank you for donating, however we can't use your blood and we can't tell you why. Go see your doctor." Surprised and concerned, I made the necessary appointment. Within a week I learned that I had contracted Hepatitis C. I'm not certain of the source, but I have an idea (a topic for another blog entry).

Since that time I have more or less regularly had a blood test on an annual or semi-annual basis, depending on my doctor's views, and on how well I remembered. A few months ago, after a reminder of mortality (dad's death) I resolved to get my bloodwork back current and to have the usual "manly" exams for the middle years -- prostate, colonoscopy, and so on. That was four weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago I received a note from my doctor. Elevated liver enzymes (I need to look them up, but one was 76, the other 140 where normal is 40) and somewhat low white blood cell count (4.2). No alcohol, no Tylenol.

Another appointment. This was a new doctor to me. I told him that I didn't plan to sit back and watch while this thing killed me or even makes me miserable. Now understanding that this was a new development, I'm in the midst of a round of tests. This morning I had an abdominal ultrasound. In a couple of weeks I see a gastroenterologist. Somewhere along the line I'll probably have a CT scan, possibly with a liver biopsy.

Depending on the outcome of those tests, the most likely next action will be to start a round of Interferon along with some other drugs. Depending on the genotype of the bug, it will probably be either 24 weeks or 48 weeks. Or maybe it's something else.

Right now, I'm not sure what I'm facing. I may or may not be in for the fight of my life.

In the meanwhile, it's like the song says: "The waiting is the hardest part."